What Successful People Do – Is NOT Rocket Science

“If you are not growing, you are dying”. And how true this familiar phrase is, because it reminds me of a time I was dying, and life was crashing down …

It was the perfect practicum placement for me, because I wasn’t taping ankles with my Physical Education Degree, or teaching a gym glass. Instead I was behind the scenes and on the marketing team for 2 major international sporting events. It was incredible! A dream come true, but coming down from this high, was a crash landing.

Turned out, (in my opinion at the time) the world owed me something really big, because of what “I had accomplished” in doing such an important practicum. This worked about as good as throwing as a pilot closing with his eyes closed and feet up while landing a plane. If you’re interested in my personal crash landing, this is how it looked.

“If you are not growing, you are dying.”Unknown, but often quoted

First off, my university room-mate and dependable best friend unexpectedly moved out. And while my eyes closed, I didn’t check the radar before landing, because next came 2.5 months where instead of pouring over offers from the NHL or NBA, I was spending my time trying to find the eject button. It was an incredibly uncomfortable time of my life.

And FINALLY I GOT THE LESSON!!

And the lesson was “keep growing and going”. And this very lesson has paid off in spades, because I now know first hand, that when I keep growing and going remarkable opportunities appear. And now it’s common to have 2-3 incredible events or experiences every single day! Not that things are perfect, but I never thought life could be this good. And I owe a giant portion of it to Higher Laws, and the 3 Day Course that I first took 2 years go.

(Make it clear, I don’t share this to gloat. Instead, to point out a true fact, that we can ALL apply.)

On top of my own personal story, I know dozens of friends who took their first Higher Laws course this year, and have their own results and stories to prove it! Everything from couples that are now renewing their wedding vows, to new business owners, making thousands more than I thought possible for a new business owner. Which you can ask me about personally if you like (Kyle@HigherLaws.com).

How did they do this?

And as it was once so eloquently about decisions …

“Successful people make important decisions early in their life, and then they manage these decisions the rest of their life.” – John Maxwell

That’s it! The science is now unravelled.

What important decisions are you making?

Happy Holidays & Merry Christmas,

Kyle

PS – What’s your biggest challenge with picking a mentor or teacher? Check out my tips for this in “Picking a Mentor – Are They Good at Sales? Or Actually Good …? http://kylemcneil.com/2011/11/10/picking-a-mentor-are-they-good-at-sales-or-actually-good/

PSS – Thank you for reading my blog, and supporting me in my life also :)

 

Picking A Mentor – Are They Good at Sales? Or Actually Good …?

Over the last 3 years I’ve taken or been apart of numerous courses and served many seminar leaders. Seeing behind the scenes into the workings of some of the biggest “names” in the personal growth industry. And I discovered some things that shocked me! With this has come a wealth of lessons and experiences. Many that will steer me clear of disasters and torment, in terms of who I will (and won’t) align myself with in the future.

It blew my mind, how some people who are highly regarded (even as much to be in major books and movies), would go bananas on people behind the scenes, using profanity, and throwing a fit. And this is a soft example compared to other antics and dark character flaws … which we don’t need to discuss.

It was all rather perplexing to me, especially though my hopeful and optimistic eye, that these “gurus” were living a higher standard. I’m not perfect, and no one is, but it just seemed like a bigger character challenge than I would have anticipated from such pearly white teethed quasi-celebrities!

The good news is (and there is lots of good news), that there are really solid people in the industry too! Fortunately I found a great one, which has allowed me to compare and contrast what works, and how to steer clear of poor decisions. I want to share a couple of primary insights with you.

First off, it’s amazing how selecting a leader, teacher of mentor can dramatically turn your life for better or worse. I’ve personally experienced both sides, and also seen the dominoes through proxy and friends in my life who’ve made their own choices. When someone goes “all in” with a mentor, and comes out one year later (or some time period reasonable enough in length to truly implement their teachings), the fruits either show or they don’t. And sometimes the fruits are nasty! For example a lot of debt, an entire business structure set up, and 100′s of hours of work, and no business income to show for it. Other times, I personally learned a collection bunch of techniques, but not the critical principles to piece it all together.

LESSON #1: This life operates 1000 times more on principle than it does on technique!

Here’s a perfect example … 12 months after coaching and learning from a mentor, who shows a road to peace and happiness, the student had no idea where to find it. He was inward and miserable. Fortunately in that same 12 months, I’d been learning and living a really simple and powerful tool that helps me connect to happiness in under 30 seconds. And when I shared it with him, he started laughing instantly.

We’ve got to be careful who we listen to.

Want to know a way to find out how good a teacher is?

LESSON #2: Simply look at the results of their students!! Compare and contrast students of different teachers, and it becomes really obvious really fast. Are they happy? Are they making more money than before? Are they healthier? And most importantly is there life balanced, and getting better?

LESSON #3: Lastly, be careful to get to tied up in the “experience” of other people. Lots of teachers do fancy exercises that can provide quite a “spiritual journey”, but it doesn’t mean squat (in my opinion) if it doesn’t add something tangible to someone’s life.

These are some of my primary lessons, as I reflect on a 3 year journey that has held many ups and downs. And I know using these lessons in your life, can help you avoid much pain and struggle and steer down an awesome path! Which I’ve definitely found (after these tough lessons).

By the way, this applies across ALL industries, genres, etc. Not just personal or business development.

So what’s your lesson? And where you can you apply this, to make your future even brighter!?

 

==

 

NOTE – I share the above post not to rant, or call out any one in particular, but more so to point out one of my biggest lessons … so we can all take a smoother journey in the future! If you’re a colleague, friend or ANYONE who feels at all tweaked by this post, please know this is NOT intended to be a shot at you or your work. Instead it’s a broad perspective of my lessons that stem from countless places and experiences in my personal journey. In other words, it’s NOT  about the “who” or what company. I want you to know with 100% certainty it’s about the lesson(s). And I’ve been very lucky to meet so many amazing people along this road!! We are ALL doing there best we can, and I respect that.

 

 

“Nothing At All” … Was Momumental

Smack … the windshield wiper fell off. Right onto the windshield. That definitely wasn’t in the cards, as my girlfriend and I prepared for a long awaited trip to the mountains. To make it worse, it was her parents car, as mine needed some TLC and wasn’t truly worthy of a long trip.

This slightly embarrassing misfortune then turned even worse when the wiper would not go back on. Next stop on this adventure was this painful sound … “SNAP”! The clip broke,  taking things from bad to worse.

Next … stopping at a store, that personally is equivalent to eating Shreddies with water. Something I would avoid at all costs, unless options are exhausted. Nonetheless it was the nearest option and they had windshield wipers, so I readied myself.

As we entered into this building where they sell “Canadian Tires” my expectations were set on “low”. At the same time I was wishing that miraculously someone could truly help us, allowing us to leave to the Mountains ASAP …

After speaking with a young attendee, who was semi helpful, it appeared as if we’d be buying a whole new $15 wiper, when all we needed was a 50 cent plastic clip. Guess that was my medicine for a silly error to break the clip in the first place. I was preparing to accept my fate … but as we walked through the store, a clean cut, happy employee walked out of the automotive section.

And what happened next, taught me a huge lesson, and where my heart needs to be, to feel true happiness in life, and not be so crusty …

As this happy employee walked by, I felt prompted to ask for his help, which I did. He thought for a second, and said “I’ll be right back”. Minutes later, he’d found us the exact clip we needed, which was quite the feat!

I looked up at him and asked “how much”?

He looked me kindly in the eye, and said “nothing at all”.

Instantly I was rushed with gratitude and appreciation, as “nothing at all” turned into everything. He totally helped us out – what a hero this guy was. More importantly though completely out of the goodness of his heart, he not only made my day, but taught me a lesson, around something I’ve long struggled with.

This is what I learned …

The problem for 7 years, wasn’t the employees at this store, or even my experiences there. It was how critical, and impatient I was. Always quick to accuse, or find fault, even if silently in my head, it always perpetuated the story, making it worse and worse. Which was an instant anchor for negative feelings, that made me miserable!

Reflecting on this, it’s amazing how debilitating being critical can become in stealing away precious moments, happiness and appreciation. As I look across my life, and how this applies in relationships, work, family, and friendships it blows me away … it’s so applicable! And something I’m excited to work on, because already life is so much better!

 

* Here’s your chance to learn from my well travelled lesson …

How could a kinder/softer heart bring more happiness into your life?

And what one area, right now, if you changed it, would give you the most positive kick back?

 

 

 

Most Writers & Entrepreneurs Struggle with this … Do You?

Most writers struggle with this. So do entrepreneurs, and people with purpose. In my life, it accounts for all the missed opportunities. What am I speaking of? We will get their in a moment.

First though, maybe you have noticed, this is my first blog post in 6 weeks. For someone who loves to blog, and write, that is a bit weird. And exactly why I’m addressing this personal struggle. It is also something I’ve learned a lot from and want to share with you!

Of course there are the normal culprits of self doubt, and the classic “I don’t have enough time” excuses. And frankly that’s all they are, just fallacies created by my “ego self”, or as we call it in Higher Laws the Hyena.

Let’s introduce another favourite of the Hyena, in the very slippery and dangerous slope, of “the Pride Cycle”. This one is tricky …

How the Pride Cycle Feels … Kind of Life this …

Imagine for a moment that you are swaggering down the red carpet on your big night. A night you’ve long awaited. You’re accepting an award and will be applauded, and celebrated. The Pride Cycle works like this though … all of a sudden, the carpet is torn from under you, and you land on your butt. It hurts. That’s the Pride Cycle.

Recently, after Brandon Broadwater taught this concept at a Higher Laws Event in Calgary, I spoke with a friend. And through tears he described how painful the last 10 years of his life have been. The Pride Cycle was exactly why he would start too get results, but soon fall. It happened time and time again. I could feel his broken heart as he talked to me about it. He also was grateful to uncover the mystery!!

Back to me. I’ve had my own ride on this too, but most recently with an interesting twist courtesy of the Hyena! And thank goodness for a great friend like Andy Benjamin who helped point this out. You see for weeks 2-3 powerful blog posts, that I literally wrote through tears of inspiration and pain sit in draft form on my computer …

In the past these were ALL the signs I needed, to know it was worth posting. This time I couldn’t see through it, until Andy said these caring words which hit home as 100% true, when he said …

“Kyle, even when the darkness loses, it will find a way to hold back the positive waves”.

He was talking about having personal wins & insights in the last few months, which could encourage others, but the hyena holds us back from sharing!! And the hyena convinced me not only of this, but also got me over-sensitive to the Pride Cycle, and I bought into the dialogue. That’s not cool!! More then ever, I’ve learned to not take the hyena lightly.

And since I straightened this out, things have been a lot better. Goodness … here’s a blog post to prove it (thanks Andy!).

This begs the question, what can you learn from my friend and Andy’s insightful words? And, how can you apply this in your life? Take a moment to ponder.

I’d be honoured if you left a comment.

Sincerely,

Kyle

PS – I’d to ask, can you do me a favour? At any time in the future, if I haven’t posted a blog for more then 2-3 weeks. Nudge me. I would appreciate it. I need to write more.

** The hyena is the real deal. Don’t underestimate him. For more on this, you can take the Free Personal Assesment @ HigherLaws.com.**

Mind Your Business, the Heart Has Reason

Looking back, this short story was a pivotal decision point in my life. It is part of the root of the tree this is now growing. I’m so grateful for it too, because flowers are blossoming in life, that are awesome! I also know, with this decision, the current tree would be much smaller

3 years ago …

Sitting across from my boss, I broke the news.

“I’ve been here for 12 months, and it’s time for me to move”.

“Where to?”, she asked.

“The rock band I’m managing – they’re going to hire me full time!”, I softly, but excitedly replied.

What happened next, contrasted where she was at, to where I was at perfectly.

Shock, confusion and bewilderment swept over her face, and words of questioning and warning soon followed. And frankly I can’t blame her. Look at this logically. Who in there right mind would move from a stable job, working 9-5, to managing a rock band?!! My goodness, someone like that must be insane!!

Although it may have appeared as such, inside I knew without a doubt it was my next step. Weeks later I took that step, and as life goes, it has led me to this very point, now working with Michael Drew, and building relationships with many other outstanding people. What an opportunity to learn, grow and contribute on a daily basis, in a way that truly energizes me. I am very grateful.

Consider this though …

What would have happened if I fell into her influence? She wanted me to stay, and continue with the grind of building and administering programs, which for the record, I found no joy in. The answer is self evident. With all due respect to my old boss (this isn’t about her – she is a great person), I’d be at the same point, mostly unhappy and uninspired.

I was being called to move on.

And fortunately I followed the guidance of my heart, and respectfully said no to the external pressures and advice of others. Crazy as it appeared, it was one of the best choices I’ve ever made!!

“The heart has its reasons which reason knows not of” – Pascal


And through this learned, that taking “a leap of faith” is a big part of life. And through acts of courage and trust, with patience the rewards do come.

Are you following your heart?

The best way for us to prove that, is through action. ;)

Enjoy,

Kyle

Why Facebook Fast? 100% – This is Why

If you read “Facebook Fasting, because … Habits Make Us”, you may have asked, why would Kyle, who’s such a supporter of social media do such a thing? It seems a bit extreme Kyle.

Possibly, but the keyboard of combination of “control T” (open new firefox tab), followed by logging into facebook.com was becoming much to unconscious. Facebook had taken over, and all the productive minutes where I could have created value for others (blogging, calling family, friends or clients, learning, etc.), was being turned into mindless clicking and scrolling. Creating the ultimate outcome of emptiness and missed opportunity, because every single minute of life is choice, to create value or waste opportunity. I was wasting opportunity.

This personal story sheds more light on “WHY” this Facebook Fast was so important to me. And when this happened last fall, it allowed me to see clearly how decisions build a life. It was a huge insight for me, and even though it’s really close to home, I want to share it with you.

Tenderly hanging up the phone, following a coaching call, I did something I hadn’t done in years. I drew something that I will never forget. This was the drawing.

Envision …

A couch in a living room, with a matured man lying on it.

The television on, depicting a mindless void, of tunnel vision and wasted years.

Junk food on the floor. Cigarettes nearby and alcohol too. None of them being used obsessively, but as Warren Buffet says: “you can’t be half pregnant”. You either are or you aren’t.

And because this man lived in contrary to the reality of you’re either 100% in, or 100% out, he was bound to the couch in chains. Completely trapped by his choices.

And this person was my father, who passed in February 2010 @ 57 years of age.

As I drew the picture, my heart sank heart, and it also became crystal clear to me, how powerful are choices and habits are. They literally do become our life, and we can choose to hate it or embrace it. Either way this stuff is real.

It’s said, the wisest men and women, are those who don’t just learn their own lessons, but also learn lessons from others (for example - Mark Twain has some great ones). Why not avoid the pain they faced? So let’s consider accepting the gift my dad provided, and do something about it.

And as you read this, I have a feeling that a door of opportunity sits right before you. There’s a good chance the greatest opportunity lies behind what you’re in avoidance about admitting to yourself, so quit wasting time, and go straight to that. I promise it’s worth it, and it’s way better than a chained future. You can either do nothing, or go forward. What do you want?

24 hours after I started this Facebook Fast, something happened that made these 14 days (and counting) incredible. In the next post, I’ll share it, and even though so much more has happened, this one thing confirmed to why it’s important to listen to our gut, intuition or inspired thought. That’s next time, so stay tuned :)

Write Kyle@KyleMcNeil.com if you want to talk or need some support. You’re not in this alone.

With care,

Kyle

Facebook Fasting, because … Habits Make Us

Over the last couple years, I’ve experienced first hand the value of committing to challenging and uncomfortable things (that are productive and safe), and ultimately for my good.

A 12 plus hour “vow of silence” sticks out, but bombing off a 6 foot platform, into a natural spring in Florida, even though I couldn’t swim is the epitome, and potentially the most extreme example. Okay, maybe this wasn’t so safe, but my friend Lacey Nagy was there to watch over things (thank you Lacey!).

It was totally exhilarating to do this! During the apex of my jump, I peeked down at the shimmering blue water and felt 20 years of fear rush into my chest. And after all 3 jumps, and resurfacing each time, let’s just say my trust went up a few notches.

This didn’t happen though, with out taking a stand, and saying “yeah I’m going to do that, and committing to it 100%”. And since then, fear has a slightly smaller voice in my life.

Which leads me to more on “yeah I’m going to do that …” but first where it comes from …

Earlier today I stumbled across some great notes from one of Brandon Broadwater’s Higher Laws courses.

The Cycle of Defeat”

Many times we find relief in life by distracting ourselves with addictions. The world out there normalizes these so they don’t seem like a big deal. Whether it is checking emails to often, eating, media, shopping, work, movies, alcohol, etc. These can all be unhealthy if you are seeking these with intent to run versus the intent to build yourself up.

Example: do you eat ice cream because you worked out and earned it, or is it an escape? Does it build you or escape/relieve you?

There’s more, but in short, it’s these habits that make or break our life, and after painfully seeing my dad waste away to many of these vices (lack of exercise, overworked, TV, poor diet), I’m just not willing to go there.

Now this might seem a bit intense, but I know for me, facebook is an escape, more often than it is totally purposeful, so for at least the next 7 days, I’m on a facebook fast. It’s time to reign this back in and get control.

Wish me luck.

And if there’s something you could do, just for 7 days to break a cycle of self defeat in your life, ultimately propelling you forward, what would it be?

Sincerely,

Kyle

PS – So you know, this decision is personal to me, and by no means suggests you should or need to do the same. How or if you apply this, is totally up to you. I’m hopeful that somewhere in your life you strongly consider it, because great reward comes from a willingness to do the hard thing(s).

Integrity – I Missed the Mark; The Lesson is …

Even though Rich Christiansen has taken 10 or so businesses from $5000 (or less) of start-up capital, and sold them all for over 1 million or more, he prefers to talk about “the 10 horrible failures”, because inside the failures are lessons. Lessons allow us to learn, integrate, and move forward even stronger. I love this about Rich, he’s so humble!

This is one of my lessons / failures that I need to share, because it has changed the shape of the coming years, and possibly my life.

I failed with my word; here’s what I mean:

In October 2010, as the Satvatove Foundational Course wrapped up, as course which I organized and participated in, I willingly stood up and again accepted the role of event organizer for the next course. As the event concluded, participants and friends shared things like “for 30 years I didn’t know myself, and now I do, thank you Kyle”, which brought such fulfilment to my heart. It was a tremendous day.

After this though … things got tough.

In Brandon Broadwater’s November 2010 course, in beautiful Pasadena, California, I learned about the 6 human needs. And in doing so, I realized it was time for me to do a better job of fulfilling my certainty need, specifically with finances. And I knew organizing another course, meant rolling the dice. Additionally as explained in Martyrdom – Dropping All Responsibility … Only Picking Up Mine it’s time to drop the constant habit of sacrificing myself for others (lose/win). It’s just not healthy. If I was to organize another course and still contribute to this amazing opportunity in working with Michael Drew, I would likely be “good” in both cases, because I’d be “martry-ing” and falling back into the old black hole I just fought so hard to get out of.

Post Pasadena I called David Wolf from Satvatove and kindly explained the situation, my gratitude for all I learned with Satvatove, and also clearly communicated that personally me “trying to be everything to everyone” had to stop. David had empathy for my situation, and I appreciate his patient and understanding ear.

One last thing too …

Throw into the mix, that Pasadena brought many little signs, and one massive confirmation from above, that clearly said “Kyle it’s time to move on, and learn from Brandon”. Clear and pristine as any message has ever came to me.

Here’s the problem though …

I was wrapped up in myself, and not until now did I find the courage to officially communicate this change/update to the “Edmonton Satvatove Community”. That broken agreement is an issue, especially since I’ve waited this long. I’m sorry for not communicating this sooner guys! Credit to Antoine Palmer, for helping me truly see this, when he eloquently described how a declaration (stating something with our word), plus the integrity to “stick with it” and deliver, is what makes leaders. In my own words, this is where leaders either win or lose people. And I’ve missed the mark with my word.

And the reality is, I’m truly sorry. This is a big lesson for me. And this week I’ve been much more conscious of my word. And amazingly, one time when I did commit with my word to something this week, it felt rock solid. In fact it kind of caught me off guard. So I’m moving the right way.

Most importantly though, to my many friends who took the October 2010 Foundational Course, please accept my      sincerest apologies for this oversight.

And also, thank you for the lesson, because this is huge for me. You may think “oh Kyle it’s fine”, but you know me well enough to know, I take this stuff seriously, because it’s these details of our life that stack up.

Thank you for reading. As always, your comments are very much appreciated and encouraged.

What do you think about the integrity of our word? And this lesson for me?

And how does this relate in your life?

Sincerely,

Kyle

PS – for the record, yes I have moved on from Satvatove, but when it came along it truly was a gift me for. In Satvatove I moved from my head into my heart, and either made and/or deepened many friendships. And for that, I am very grateful. Time has moved along and now my strongest mentorship and learning is coming from Brandon Broadwater. I love what he teaches, and more importantly after spending many days with him, and numerous phone conversations, I’ve found Brandon’s teachings to match who he really is. Brandon’s not perfect, and he’s not superman, but he is congruent … which comes right back to this whole integrity thing. I share this to clearly communicate where I am right now, and hope this is beneficial to some of you.

Martyrdom – Dropping ALL Responsibility … ONLY Picking Up Mine

This ominous word stared back at me …

The reality that martyrdom might be present in my life … scary!

And since this realization 2 weeks ago at the Satvatove Foundational Course (Edmonton, AB) I have come to terms that yes, this unconscious game has been REALLY messing things up for me and my experience of life. Energy draining and confidence sucking.

* Taking One for the Team …

At one time I managed a project with a clear win/win agreement in place, to be paid for my service/contribution on a monthly basis. Then martyrdom shows up …

A slow revenue month would occur and I would willingly “take one for the team”. Leaving me with a self created financial loss, even though my end of the bargain, to open doors and create opportunities was upheld.

(But Kyle, this makes no sense!!)

You are right, and I did not have the self esteem to stand up for my value. Instead I played the “nice guy” and created a win (them) / lose (me) fate. I created this 100%.

Fortunately, Satvatove helped me identify that playing the role of the martyr provided the payoff of “importance” (amongst others). Kind of the “wow — I’m really superior. Look how I can sacrifice and take the world on my shoulders”.

* Friends can see your label, you can’t …

Many months ago a friend suggested “I drop all responsibility and only pick back up that which is mine”. She helped me see something I could not. And just like the label on a bottle, we can’t read it when we are inside our own bottle. Having friends and coaches to lovingly provide feedback for growth (and ultimately my happiness) has been so accelerating. Thank you Zoe Endacott (feedback above), Tim Francis, David Wolf and Marie Glasheen for your help in reading my label.

* Changing is not easy …

Recently I asked my roommate for help to winterize and clean our house. This was a HUGE stretch for me. Just the initial step of conceptualizing a “help me list” brought a sense of the room crashing in around me. The weight and pressure of the martyrdom habit gritting its teeth. After all Martyrs don’t ask for help!

Through this process though, I’m getting better at expressing my needs/wants and learning that people sincerely do want to help. If I just ask. Seems easy right?

* I encourage you to consider where are you on the losing side of win/lose in your life? Look a bit deeper. There might be something there.

* And who do know that plays the a martyr in their life? Maybe you can help them read their label … And if appropriate forward them this blog and let them know you love and care for them.

In support of you,

And focusing ONLY on picking up the responsibility that is mine ;)

Kyle

PS – Here is another example of what in Satvatove would be described as a racket, which is “a deception that secures some form of gain” …

People often seek payoff for their negative emotional states. For example suppose that a child finds that becoming sad or angry he gets the loving attention of his parents. The payoff is sympathy and attention. When the child becomes an adult he then has an unconscious habit of becoming morose or furious when he wants to feel loved … not conscious of his manipulations however, he increases his suffering because he does not know how to achieve what he really desires in a positive fashion”.

- From David Wolf’s book “Relationships That Work – The Power of Conscious Living” (page 112).

Want Real Results, But Not Getting Them?

Why would you take valuable time out of your schedule to attend a course?

3 days out of your life is a lot of time! What if taking a course allowed you to experience outcomes that were clearly worth it? Tangible REAL results. This is why most of us go to courses, to get results.

It is important to share REAL personal growth success stories … here is one :)

A story of REAL Results with Satvatove …

In January 2009 I was far off from purpose in life – it was scary and deflating. I had almost zero confidence and questions like “what do you want” never crossed my mind and even it it had, the answer would have been feeble.

February 2009 came and the doors slowly started to part. Why? I attended the Satvatove Foundational Course and I learned more about myself in 3 days, then 5 years of reading “shelf help books”. Things like: the games I play to avoid taking 100% responsibility for life came to my awareness, in addition to insights around passiveness and poor communication skills.

The Scary thing is this …

Not knowing what you want is equivalent to grocery shopping, with zero idea of an outcome.  Just going with the flow, picking low quality frozen food meals, a pack of donuts, eating, suffering the consequences and loathing the results. I did this in life because I had little clarity and true sense of self – asleep at the switch.

But, why not buy quality food, wake up and get results!?

Results Like:

17 months later, after two Satvatove courses and ongoing coaching, breakthrough occurs …

The phone rings. It is Michael Drew calling. The same Michael Drew who mentored under Roy H Williams (aka the Wizard of Ads) and the same guy who has placed 67/67 authors onto best seller lists like the NY Times and Wall Street Journal.

The reason for his call?  Offering me a spot on his team! As I hang up the phone, I collapse in disbelief.  Is this a dream? Michael knows hundreds of people, why me?

The Principle: “Be-do-have” Works its Wonders Again …

I later found out, one of Michael’s colleagues’ moment of decision went like this:

“Kyle you walked by me; I saw your glowing positive energy and I knew you were our guy”.

Within 24 hours Michael independently came to a similar conclusion. How cool is that? When you have high self awareness and start walking in your authentic power zone, people WILL notice.

Yes, I did accept and now get to speak with authors, entrepreneurs and thought leaders across North America. I also have the pleasure of blogging on Beneath The Cover, with many talented writers. See, with intention and commitment to growth a dream can come alive.

17 others have already signed up for the Satvatove Foundational Course October 15-17, 2010 in Edmonton. If you value your dream or want to discover it, feel free to write Kyle@KyleMcNeil.com or find me on facebook and we can chat.

Sincerely,

Kyle

PS – Another result from Satvatove … Tim Francis improved his businesses bottom line by $3500/month. For more on Tim’s other Satvatove insights and experiences, you can read here.

Doc says: “You’re Lucky to Be Alive”

BOOM! … was the predominant sound heard throughout a north Edmonton neighbourhood as a house exploded. This same house was only five doors down from where a friend lived. Last week he spoke of the experience and I could tell the experience was troubling.

And rightfully so. What if he was walking by? What if that was his house?

See the only rhyme when it comes to understanding death is absolutely no rhyme at all. Well at least initially, but when the emotions do subside, the lessons can appear so distinctly, that they change you forever.

2010 has been a bit of “five doors down experience”. Here is what I mean.

* February – after a 3 year cancer battle my 56 year old father passed away.

* May – the doctor tells my brother “you are lucky to be alive”, after his appendix ruptures and leaks into his stomach for 3-4 days. Fortunately, the fatty part of his stomach retains the poison. He makes it through.

* May – a close family member is diagnosed with breast cancer. She is now recovering.

* July – dad’s mom (my grandmother) passes after 15 years of stomach problems.

A lot to take … yeah, I am aware. And instead of 5 houses down, this all happened in our proverbial “house”. Some made it and some did not. Different circumstance than a house explosion yes, but a shocking track record nonetheless.

The amazing thing though, is after many hours of crying, confusion and burdening sadness something amazing has appeared. A deeper zest and appreciation for life and opportunity. Less concern for what “others will think” and many experiences that have brought me to my knees in gratitude.

How lucky are we, to have this opportunity? I feel like I now know this firsthand and simply put, life has shifted into areas of deeper engagement and purpose. Living for what matters and inspires. After all is that not the point?

One of the most powerful questions of all – “what do you want” continues to push my boundaries. Consider taking 10 minutes to ask yourself this question: what do you want? It’s a key question and if it brings you to your knees or send chills up your spine, you are on to something. Something worth living for.

What do you want?

Having clarity on this is key because it sets up you future. And as John Maxwell says:

“Successful people make important decisions early in their life, and then they manage these decisions the rest of their life.”

What decisions are you making? What are you going to create, give, do and be before you pass?

The reality is our time is finite. Let’s make our time completely worth it and set the course now. If you are ready to take that step in your life, email me Kyle@KyleMcNeil.com. There is lots of opportunity depending on what you want/need. And I have yet to share my break through for 2010. That is for the next post. It is a wild story!

Opportunity is aplenty!

Grateful to be alive,

Kyle

Without clarity … what are we?

… this is a thank you letter to Len Gierach, host of the 20/20 Intention Experience / Retreat near Jasper. Over the last 8 months numerous entrepreneurs in this great Edmonton network have taken part in the “20/20″. Now a 4 time attendee, the 20/20 continues to provide invaluable insights into my business, relationships, spiritual life & purpose.

The letter below is a quick story about one significant insight …

—————-

Hi Len,

Thank again for hosting the 20/20 Intention Experience in your chalet near Jasper.

Here’s something insight/writing that came to me after our June 20/20 Experience …

——–

Are we simply like a ship, drifting around on the ocean? The destination … wherever the wind & waves take us?

Sure that’s an option … and at the same time, why not pick a destination? After all, we are cut from the same cloth as greats like: Mother Teresa, Muhammad Unis & Steven Covey. They’ve achieved great things because of destination.

Why I share this …

In advance of June’s 20/20 my #1 intention was to set aside 2 hours in the afternoon for writing. The train was derailed though …when we sat down as a group and other options like: masterminding, hiking & hot-springs quickly became very enticing.

Hard to say no to that right? But what about my #1 intention to write? I got sucked in … I wrote for about 20 minutes. Far short of the 120 minutes, which I would have enjoyed. I let myself down & I felt it inside.

The insight:

Frankly, I didn’t have the clarity and purpose to stick with my intention. This in some ways is reflective of my life. Not having crystal clear clarity to stay on my course. This for me was a HUGE lesson.

Sure the other things were great, but that’s not the point. This wasn’t a conscious decision for me. It was something else. As a result what did I miss out on?

And as Phillip McKernan says, “how selfish of you”, basically meaning … to not pour your heart & energy into something you’re passionate about and talented at … how dare you!

And because I didn’t write, who didn’t receive a message through my blog that could have got value? Even if it was one person.

So here it is Len, one intention to write … ironically spilled into having something to write about. Guess it all works out in the end!

Thanks again for your energies around the 20/20.

With greater clarity around destination,

Kyle

Want more info on the 20/20 Experience, because you could benefit from this type of insight in your life or business? Feel free to email me at: Kyle@KyleMcNeil.com. There’s usually 5-8 spots available on a monthly basis.

* Pics of the chalet available here.

Blogging for Introverts & Why to Start

As an introvert, standing up and sharing your “story” isn’t easy right? Instead it can be a stretch that takes courage.

There’s this really cool thing for us “introverts” though … called blogging. And through a conversation with my extrovert friend, Lynne MacQuarrie we uncovered some reasons “why” blogging is a MUST for introverts.

And here’s why …

"Tiger" - the perfect extrovert & arch nemesis of the introvert

==

7 Benefits of “introvert blogging” …

1) Safe space for your voiceblogging is a powerful tool for self expression. And relatively speaking it’s safe. More so than being on stage or in front of a group of people. Even though the nature of blogging is 2 ways communication, you get to clearly express outside interference from excitable “Tiger-like” extroverts … which by the way if you are an extrovert, why are you reading this? … ;)

2) Writing helps you get to know you – it’s the nature of the writing process to be in a space of self reflection. Self reflection – yep that’s right, which is like Christmas morning for an introvert!

3) Relationship building on auto-pilot – people can build relationship with you while you sit on a hill, contemplating plans for world peace & decreasing energy consumption. Also, readers can learn about you at their pace, on their time, which is a very organic way to deepen their relationship with you.

4) You get to be mysterious & contemplativepeople often find writers fascinating. And blogging is simply a modern platform in which to write. Expect hot date requests & coffee meetings to be on the rise! Although I say this sarcastically, there is some truth in this.

5) Serves your reader – you may not fully realize your value. Most people don’t. By starting blogging you’ll find that people crave your message & courage to be open. This courage will in turn, serve your readers to be more open too. It’s you leading by example.

6)  Breadth, depth & flavour – your readers will likely learn more about you in your blog than in person. Lynne expressed that my blog has provided her insight into my world, that she likely would not have known about … which is awesome. She knows more about the “true” me & this serves us.

7) Extroverts will think you’re very cool – & will be amazed by your ability to compose thoughts & ideas in writing … as they run around saying everything & writing very little.

Note: if you’re an extrovert and still reading, the warning was above … but we still love you too!

My dear introvert friend, the world is waiting for your voice!

I’m open to providing guidance in helping you start your blog — provided my contemplative space is respected, lol. Simply send me an email: Kyle@KyleMcNeil.com .

In support & anticipation of your blog!

Sincerely.

Kyle

PS – and for the record, I don’t live in recluse like a hermit, although as an introvert, that is kind of tempting … (just kidding …).

PSS – here’s some other great tips on writing as an introvert & on an explanation of blogs in general.

7 Keys – Becoming a THOUGHTFUL LEADER

Mentorship & coaching is a key to growth. Michael Drew who works with authors & thought leaders has opened some massive possibilities in my mind. Michael is a thought leader himself & is set to speak @ Ted x Calgary.

This thought leader thing is interesting because … 3 summers ago I wrote down a mission statement to: “positively & deeply impact at least one million people over the course of my life”.

From that space, I realized to be a “thought leader” is good … what about being a thoughtful leader! That fits much better ;)

With that in mind, here’s 7 KEYS to becoming a thoughtful leader.

  1. Have pen & paper ALWAYS available –  the ideas will come fast & furious when you least expect it. Be ready to capture inspiration. Like in so many books that profess the power of writing things down – MY GOODNESS it’s true. Write it down!
  2. Acknowledge profound insights & powerful actions in yourself in others – celebrate this – it’s a gift. The more you honour this, the more you’ll receive. This is abundance.
  3. Serve YOU. Your core purpose is to love you & feed your soul. Without you – you can’t serve others. Death, sickness & unhappiness greatly reduces our impact. Set time aside for your body, mind & spirit – make it a priority.
  4. Explore your why – in other words, “why do you do what you do”? What’s your mission? The deeper this resides inside you, the bigger impact you’ll make & more results you’ll see. Will & determination ALWAYS wins.
  5. Take action – get involved – this is where your name will grow & thoughts & heart will touch others … the universe loves speed (action) and will show you the way. Expect challenge, failure & success. It’s just part of the journey. Sitting back thinking about how to change the world is important. At the same time, if this is 100% your plan … we’ve got a problem.
  6. Be impeccable with your word – Conscious & clean in your delivery of messages with people. Don’t spill your “crap” onto others. Your words make a long lasting impact. Also be aware, that trying to be perfect & not “hurt anyone’s feelings” will keep you in the backseat — trust me I know this intimately.
  7. Drop the me-me-me, ego and LISTEN! To be a thoughtful leader, you must be considerate of others, if you never stop talking … you’ll never learn what is important to them & you will lose them (especially now that we’re in the civic cycle)! Find out what moves them & what they need though; you’re GOLDEN!

Good luck & enjoy!

Kyle

PS – special mention to Teresa de Grosbois, for her dedicated & impassioned work as a thought leader, writer & speaker. It’s a pleasure to know her & attend her recent Edmonton course. And I’ll leave the final words to Mr. Covey …

“LEADER IS A CHOICE, NOT A POSITION” – Stephen R Covey

Article in “Active Alumni” @ UofA

Grateful for this article in “Active Alumni” & Tim taking the time to post it on his blog.

My time @ the University of Alberta in Phys Ed & Rec (2006 Grad) was exceptional.

(Picture from the article is below)